Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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