Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
