So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
