Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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