dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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