So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
