Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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