It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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