just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
