She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
