i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I need to align my fucking chakras
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
