idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
