please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
