waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
