just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
