if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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