Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He has the fingertips of a God
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