why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
