so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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