Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
