This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You smell like a Billy Joel song
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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