isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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