I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
