you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize