I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
