OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Randomize
