We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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