i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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