was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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