is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
