I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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