capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
