Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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