i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
