worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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