I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
