Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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