well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
