Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
