Define "chronic" masturbator.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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