I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
PANTIES FOUND
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
