Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
