Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
