And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
