Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
