is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize