Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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