Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
