OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize