well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
he's single and there are thong briefs.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
