so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
