i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
