hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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