I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
