I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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