I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
