lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize