I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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