operation harelip BJ is a go
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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