You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
